Unfortunately, Valentine's Day has become something of a benchmark or a sign of status rather than a sacred time for honoring ourselves and those we love--or want to love. It has become something we allow to make us feel awful when we don't have a romantic partner to express love with us. We're not good enough because we're alone on this very special day. The truth is, that's hogwash. Being alone on Valentine's Day could be seen as a great opportunity for some new magick to come into your life. Single people avoid Valentine's Day like the plague. They may stay in their houses and shut out the rest of the world, eating pints of ice cream and devouring chocolate while watching sappy love movies that remind them of what they feel they do not have. (Cliche? Sure, but there's a reason it's cliche, right?!) Instead (at least in my opinion), they should get out and see what the holiday has to offer them. Do something to draw love into your life. Take a bath with love enhancing herbs. Drink a special drink charged with loving energies to make you more lovable. Take advantage of the holiday in some way that will bring new love into your life. Love energies are high right now. As Imbolc taught us, the light is coming back and, with it, animal urges are on the rise. Single people could use that energy to their benefit. Don't pine away and wallow in self-pity. Work a powerful spell to bring you what you really want: a life filled with love.
The original celebration was called The Lupercalia in Rome. (While it was not only celebrated in Rome, it is most famously remembered as a Roman celebration.) It was a festival of fertility meant to honor the She-Wolf who nursed Romulus (the founder of Rome) and his brother Remus. The Lupercalia began with the slaughtering of a goat and a dog in the sacred grotto of the She-Wolf. After this was accomplished, the young men would run through the streets whipping women and crops with the flayed hide of the goat to promote fertility. Our modern Valentine's Day celebration takes place on the night before the original celebrations occurred.
In ancient Rome, February 14th was set aside to honor Juno (Queen of the Gods and patroness of Marriage). The 14th was also set aside as The Love Lottery. The Love Lottery was simple. All the young eligible girls would write their names on a slip of paper and throw it into a jar to be picked by an eligible boy. Chooser and chosen would then be paired for the duration of the festival. It was completely arbitrary, but the thing is that these arbitrary pairings often turned into lasting relationships that extended beyond the festivities. Of course we could bring this custom back at a Valentine's Day party, but if you are the type of person to avoid those gatherings or you find them trite, this won't be of much help to you. However, the idea of learning to something that is completely random isn't a bad one. If you would rather stay at home and lick your wounds this Valentine's Day, you could always follow the spirit of The Love Lottery if not the letter of it.
Find a jar that screams love to you. Maybe you decorate it with paper hearts and pictures of things you love. Maybe some of those pictures are of people you are attracted to. Maybe others depict things you want to do with your life. Whatever you do, you should be proud of the jar. Then take at least 5 strips of paper and write things you desire on them. A vacation that you've always wanted to take. A gift you've wanted for the longest time but have refused to buy for yourself. A new hobby. Things like that. Focus on things that would enrich your sense of self. Now, shake the jar around like crazy. Get all your frustration out mixing those pieces of paper around in the jar. Let go of your anger, your fear, your sorrow. When you feel calm and steady, put the jar back down and pick out the first strip of paper you are drawn to. Focus your energies on that thing instead of your hurt feelings. Begin there and continue to build love for yourself.
Many people today seem averse to Valentine's Day because they feel that it is too wimpy or pulls too heavily on the heartstrings in an inauthentic way. If the Christianized meaning of the holiday leaves you feeling a little flat, consider using some elements of The Lupercalia. (Please don't sacrifice a goat or dog though.)
